Avengers: Age of Ultron

Does the Avengers sequel live up to the original? Short answer – no. Long answer – Noooooooooooooooooooo.

Avengers: Age of Ultron looked great on paper. Joss Whedon was back in the director’s chair. He promised a darker, more complex tale than its predecessor. Well, it is darker. It is also confusing, convoluted and cluttered. More The Matrix Reloaded than The Empire Strikes Back.

The original Avengers was elegant in its simplicity. The continuity of the Marvel Cinematic Universe let audiences jump right into the fray. We knew our ensemble cast from the five “Phase One” films. We knew the devious villain, Loki, from Thor. Even the MacGuffin had been introduced in Captain America. (The Tesseract! It took me a full hour to remember that.) We were ready to rock, even before the credits rolled.

Sadly it is this same continuity that holds its sequel back. Multiple scenes exist solely to set up future Marvel movies. Thor has a cataclysmal vision of Asgard in a bizarre, truncated subplot. Tony Stark and Steve Rogers lock horns – a schism develops. A contrived romantic subplot is thrown in for good measure. It feels like a trailers reel for Thor: Ragnarok and Captain America: Civil War. As with Iron Man 2’s interminable diner scenes, the film itself becomes slow and bloated. Like an Eddie Rockets customer.

In brighter news, Hawkeye has a surprisingly meaty role. Hypnotised and impotent in the original Avengers, he provides the emotional heart of its sequel. Sadly the remaining characters have little room to develop. It doesn’t help that Whedon overstuffs the film with new characters. The worst offenders are the terrible twins, Quicksilver and Scarlet Witch. Lame costumes and silly Russian accents make it impossible to take either seriously. The Soviet nincompoops from Rocky and Bullwinkle are more believable. (Pro-tip: leave Quicksilver to the experts – Bryan Singer and the X-Men franchise.)

Our Fearless Leader, the eponymous Ultron is woefully underused. Recent films like Ex Machina have tapped into the public’s fears of Big Data and accompanying artificial intelligence. Ultron should have been a fantastic “Broken Mirror” villain: a dark reflection of Tony Stark’s paranoia and technophilia. Unfortunately he is more Uncanny Valley than Silicon Valley: Ultron’s weird puppet lips are unsettling for all the wrong reasons. And his villainous scheme is relegated to the background to make room for more boring (read: dizygotic) characters.

This sequel feels stale and tired, like a franchise’s third or fourth movie. Its opening action scene is oddly lacking in energy. The much-anticipated “Hulkbuster” scene is fleeting and underwhelming. (It was probably overexposed by the film’s many, many trailers.) And our literal Deus Ex Machina is introduced far too late in the proceedings. Yet other action set pieces remain inventive – in particular, the motorway sequence. The third act is a welcome variant of Marvel’s typical fireworks display. But shooting robots doesn’t give the visceral thrill of gunning down fleshy opponents. No blood, no guts. No R-rating. No fun.

I believe Joss Whedon made the right decision in stepping down from the franchise. His witty, tongue-in-cheek quips have begun to grate. As with the underwhelming Iron Man 2, it’s time for fresh ideas. I am still looking forward to Captain America: Civil War, a.k.a. “Avengers 2½”. Robert Downey Jr’s final appearance easily makes it worth the price of admission. Not to mention it’s Spider-Man’s Marvel debut. But I hope Marvel Studios will learn from this outing’s mistakes. I hope we will be pleasantly surprised – next time the Avengers… assemble.